Urmph
5’x8’
Rug, spray paint, juice, alcohol
2023
This piece is rooted in my battle with depression caused by my gender dysphoria. You can see the letters of the word “help” and “need” scrambled through. Imagery that relates to my wants and needs, my voice not being heard, feeling weighed down, upset, and feeling of being swallowed whole can be seen. urmph relates to a poem I wrote titled u.a.d. cycle (used, abused, discarded). I wanted this rug to look abused and disrespected. The outline of my body in the fetal position has been shaved and torn. A position I often find myself in while laying in bed feeling alone and hopeless, the position was also tilted slightly to give it an unsettling look. Red spray paint was used to embody this sad, distressed, angry emotion. After all, that is how I feel when I’m unable to get up and not understanding why I’m not receiving help. Beer, cranberry, apple, and grape juice were smeared and spilt on it. These emotions are soon to be a thing of the past, but it is a part of what makes me, me.
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